Your Best To Avoid Me

Every thing's cool, yeah.

It's all gonna be okay, yeah.

And i know,

Maybe I'll even laugh about it someday.

But not today, no.

I'm not going to lie. It hurts.

It hurts a lot.

 I try to imagine that everything is okay

but in reality its not.

I walk around here,

a ghost of myself.

Faking a smile everyday of my life.

I told you I loved you.
I wasn't too far off the mark.

I did feel strongly for you.

I do feel strongly for you.

I don't text you anymore, at all.

I remember waking up

and knowing there 

would be a text from you.

I remember watching my watch.

3:38, 3:39,

and then there you would be.

Like clockwork.

But I won't tell you that i miss that like crazy.

I won't tell you

I miss you.

I won't talk to you.

You try talking to me.

But I'm not going to show you how weak I am.

That I catch my breath when you look at me.

That my heart stops when you laugh.

That I can't stop this feeling.

That I love when you talk to me.

No.

I'll ignore you.

I'll lose your number.

I won't answer when you call my name.

Say hi.

Touch my hair.

Hug me.

I'll pretend it doesn't mean anything to me.

I'll pretend you're a little kid

that isn't important.

Then maybe one day you'll 

start to care about me again.

You'll want me back.

You'll wish it were different.

I hope.

I'll play my little game.

But I'll probably lose.

I've never been the kind to win anything.