Can You Love Me As Me?

Can you love me as me?

Weak and small compared to the loves you drag along with you.
They occupy your heart so vigorously,
compelling me to be more than I can possibly be.


I breathe you in like needed air.
My heart beats frail because of the energy you consume from me.
Lifeless, I am, to the point of despair,
but here I am, devoted to someone who does not care.


Moments from yesteryears of the man you used to be,
caring, loyal, loving, yes all the things you promised – forever.
Now, you hold my hand you kiss my cheek
but all I feel are memories.


Am I the one to blame?
I do anyways, and you let me live without tranquility.
Guilt, guilt, guilt- this be forever my name.
I tie myself into one perfect little knot, as to not bring you shame.


Answer me; can you love me as me?
I try so very hard to be the perfect, decent one, but obviously fail.
Can you keep, with me, your dignity?
Or is it with someone else you would rather be?

I See The Real You.

Heartbreak may be the most horrible thing possible. I hate how you can play me so easily. I see how you are, only I can't make myself see it. If that makes any sense whatsoever. Probably not, I might have just lost my mind. Anyways. Love sucks. Only, it's the most wonderful thing in this world. I can't not say I love you, because I do... I do, but I don't want you to know that. I don't want you to have power over me. You make it so hard, though. You're always around. You're always trying to pull me back in. Always saying you love me, that you'll never do it again..over and over again. The depth of your eyes full of all the memories we shared, another trick that I fall for. How do I tell myself you're no good. How do I send that message from my brain to my heart.. reaching out to you -never again to the one you were before. I love you. I don't want this. Never again. Never to hurt again, #1 on my list. Only, without you.. i'm hurting just as much. What is this thing called love? And why can I not turn it off?